What the freak...

Weird things have been happening to me. Well, aside from the usual "weird" things that are supposed to happen during the whole gestation period stuff, like my rapidly expanding stomach, road map of a vein system, the appetite of a 350 lb. linebacker- normal. Get it. But lately other "weird" stuff has been happening too...like my dreams? I don't have baby dreams every night, but when I do have them, they are FREAKY.

Like last night for instance, I dreamed that I had the baby now (I can't remember the reason why but it seemed legit in my dream), and James got to hold her and stuff, but then we had to put her back in the little bubble/sack thing and stuff her back in "there" so she could finish cookin' and what not. But then a problem happened, the umbilical cord ripped in the process, so the "doctor" told us to clean it with peroxide, then paperclip it back together and it would heal once she was back "inside". Soooo that's what we did, and we pushed her back up on in there, and life was just dandy. Like I said, FREAKY.

I think my brain needs a vacation from baby stuff. But do you ever forget that you're pregnant? No. Aside from the physical and constant reminder that you are, I have like a bagillion checklists running through my head at any given moment, from baby shower invites and decorations, to registries, to everything green and leafy I should be eating but am not. Then there's also a list of another bagillion questions from "are you supposed to put diaper rash cream on every time you change a diaper?" to "is that pain normal?" to "what if she's not even cute?..I'll know if she's not even cute.."

Aye aye aye. I definitely need a mental vacation. Not to mention I forgot what it means to sleep through the night. I'm thinking that's probably an intentional thing your body does to start training itself for when she's actually born, and you won't be sleeping anyway.

This is more of a vent I guess. But I'm sure it all comes naturally and you figure it out as you go, and la la la. But until I get to that point and figure it out, I guess my checklists and questions and shopping lists will just keep on growing.

I wonder if James thinks about all this stuff...probably not. The other day somebody asked him what he was the most scared of (I said everything) and James said her first date. So I guess he's got what, 16 years to get over his fears? And I have, oh, 3 1/2 months.


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