Give me bread or give me death.

There's this thing at my school called music fest, which sounds way more rock band that it actually is (keep in mind by school from here on out and forever I mean elementary school). Each grade level prepares and performs two songs revolving around a theme. The performances are nearly two hours for two nights, and of course it's required for teachers to be there. The theme this year is "going green!" Sorry...I'm not on that bandwagon. I mean, I'm all about not trashing the planet and keeping it clean, but when a bunch of little kids start singing about holes in the ozone layer, I get a little squirmish (my mom would be proud- haha). Speaking of all that jazz, I'll go ahead and post this email that I got from probably one of only 10 republicans in California...

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had once failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A......

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that.

K so I don't want to be too political here, but that was too good to pass up. I completely wholeheartedly agree. Moving on. Back to me being at school from 8am-9pm for two days. Today I brought my Denise Austin 10 minute target toners DVD and most definitely shut my blinds, locked my door, and worked out in my classroom. Hah! I had this funny image in my mind of one of the janitors coming in and I'm like doing butt exercises...aye aye aye...fortunately that didn't happen.

Is it ironic to have Special K Protein Shake in the morning and a Kneaders cranberry duo chocolate cookie in the afternoon? Probably. I was thinking about what one of my "weaknesses" is...I was reading a friend's blog who can't "get off the coke" (being the drink). I definitely can't get off the carbs. I mean, chocolate is good too, but even more than that, give me BREAD! I did a low carb diet once...lost the lb's but man, not even worth it.

I can't believe it's nearly March...bring on Spring time and warm weather. BRING IT. Egh...I just thought about the time change though and that whole "spring forward" notion...not the best idea ever.

A really good idea? Bread. In all its varieties and wonderfulness.



Summertime, and the livin' is easy

"A word's just a word, til you mean what you...BAARFFFFFF!" So went our 4th grade music fest practice today, as we're all lined up on the stage practicing where to stand/how to stand/how not to annoy your neighbor. Poor girl, completely projectile vomited all over everything. Thank GOODNESS she was on the first row so it hit the floor and only some of some other boy's back. I usually have a pretty strong stomach, but I had to take a quick step out of the gym to get some fresh air. Bleghhhaaggh. Not sure what she ate for breakfast, but it was not kind to her. This is why I've decided I could never be a kindergarten teacher and have to deal with much more of that, in addition to many "accidents" of other sorts. Rock on kindergarten teachers, you deserve a raise.

So I went against everything I've EVER believed in. (*Prays Nisha and Nicole aren't reading this...) I dyed my hair out of a box. !!! I was SO nervous. Jenn, Shanti, and I had a girl's escapade that ended in cheap permanent hair color. The actual color isn't too different, just a few shades darker, but the last time I let someone dye my hair from a box was when I was 12 and didn't know any better. It turned out okay really, except today my scalp feels really dry and itchy...hopefully I'm not having some sort of allergic reaction. That would be deeply ironic and cruel. Then the thought crossed my mind, "Omgosh...I'm a teacher...what if I have lice!??!" BARF! I just shoved that thought right out. Moving on. Creepies!!

I live with the best roommate ever. Aka the husband. He's incredibly thoughtful and always does the littlest things that make all the difference (except when he leaves his cereal bowls on his desk daily and Xbox controllers everywhere, but I can deal). Valentine's day was fun. We made a delish dinner together (strawberry and spinach salad, red pepper and shrimp scampi and crescent rolls) and set up our table in our living room all fancy like. Then we went out to see When In Rome (meh, was hoping it would be a little funnier), and came back and made chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate dipped cake balls. Yum-O! He got me some real pearl earrings to replace the 5 dollar Wal-Mart pair that turn my ears green. Thanks :-)
I did feel bad for my brother though, who texted me at about 5:30 asking if we could babysit Milly so they could go out. Guess I should enjoy these type of holidays with no offspring while I can so I don't have to scrounge for a babysitter. Not that I would be a scrounge...hopefully not anyway...she loves me. I teach her new words. Like "boom" when something falls, which she pronounces "goon". Adorable, right?

4 day weekends are ridiculously amazing. I had a little taste of summer, despite the freezing rain storm on Monday. But I could sleep in and do as I pleased. The only thing missing (aside from actual heat in the atmosphere) is laying out. Dangitall I miss laying out. Even during the summer it just seems like not something a lot of people do here, maybe because a lot of people don't have pools, but in FL, you could just lay out in your yard and it was completely socially acceptable. Here, I'd get a lot of strange stares...Moral of this story, I need to make a friend who has a pool so I can lay out at their house everyday this summer. Actually let's be real, my pasty white legs couldn't handle every day, so at least 3 days a week, come on, surely someone could easily befriend me if my demands go down a little? Summer GET HERE FASTER PLEASE.

That suddenly just made a song pop in my head, "New kids on the block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food make me sick, but I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer" HAH! You love it, YOU LOVE IT. Takes me back to the 90s. (Also when Pluto WAS a planet...whole other rant there). James just said, (as this song is playing from my computer), "Whitney...I thought you were cool?" I am.

I am cool.



Oh Boy

All of the reasons why the Bachelor is COMPLETELY unrealistic and kind of twisted.

1. No man is ever allowed to be "in love" with 4 women under any normal circumstances, but somehow in the bachelor it's completely okay, he's just "seeing how the cards fall".
2. Women all in love with the same man can live mostly functional in the same house together and even become friends.
3. All of the Bachelor's are successful, not bad looking guys...why do they have to resort to TV dating? They're hiding something...
4. The dates they go on/places they go are way to expensive/super cool to be a first, second, possibly even third date.
5. Does the guy not even feel bad for kissing up to like 10 women in a week?? Not even a week, days? But he says he's looking for "inner beauty"...are we sure this isn't a televised booty call? Just sayin'...
6. The women can ball their eyes out, but their makeup looks PERFECT and better than mine most days. I don't know what that secret is, but if anybody knows it's a crime to hold that back.
7. The parts they show on TV doesn't really seem like enough conversation for them to "fall in love", but if there's more, why aren't they showing it??? There's definitely a lot of that booty call though..

Do all these really matter to me though? No. Because I watch it. I didn't watch the first 5 weeks of this season, but after seeing one I'm like hooked. =Pathetic. However, I decided it feels some type of void in my life, when back in high school and college I experienced a ridiculous amount of drama, but there's not much drama here in married life, so I just watch it on TV now. And strangely, I'm okay with it. :-)

On a SUPER BRIGHT NOTE. Four day weekend!! Praises for makeup snow days+holidays. I have big plans for myself tomorrow- gym, free makeover from Clinique, grocery shopping, oil change, pedicure, and a movie later. Sounds like a great way to escape the 27 sugar-pumped little rascals.

Can I just say how much cooler my sister is than I am/ever was in high school? Not to mention way more risky. I was such a people pleaser and she gets grounded every other week for some new drama (o no, she's due for a future of reality TV when she gets older too!!). That little risk taker...love her. LOVE HER. Oh I wish I could say what it was this time, but that would not do much for the sisterhood. Maybe later ;-) I miss her like craz-eeee. I told James if my siblings all grow up and move to different parts of the country, we'll just have to move and follow them around because I won't be able to stand being away from them.

Okay last thing. My niece is the most friggin' adorable thing you've ever seen. Here's a video of the cuteness that is her, where she is falling asleep while she's eating. You'll probably watch it at least twice, hilarious. It's on my brother's facebook page, here.

Much love. Whit


Dear Dumb Diary

Dear Monday,

You know, I don't think this is working for me. I mean, you're here, then you go, and just when I'm running back into Friday's arms, you come back. I just don't think it's fair. So, go away. Far, far away.

Dear 4 day weekend,

Bring it on. Monday can even join us this time, it seriously owes me one from this week.

Dear Brownie Raspberry Trifle,

You were amazing. Stay all you want. But when you start metabolizing into little fat balls, please just avoid the waist, I've been working too hard.

Dear Pandora.com

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! What a fabulous idea. I'm not even missing my iTunes gift card, because you're just as good.

Dear little Hispanic lady at the Clinique counter,

I'm sorry! I know I haven't been moisturizing my face properly. Thanks for the free face wash and make up appointment this week. It's sure to brighten my week. Although, it doesn't help we live in a completely barren wasteland where the only thing that keeps my skin properly hydrated is baby lotion. True story. But I'll go back to the 3 step cleaning kit, I promise. Oh and next time, next time being this Friday when I come for my makeover you promised, please tell your "associate" not to stare me down with those smokey, judging eyes. Kthanx.

Dear Colts,

Judging from the looks of it, I don't think you're the hot snot everyone says you're supposed to be. Peyton Manning seems on top of it, so someone should probably apologize to the rest of his team for falling apart. While we're on the subject, all of the commercials totally did not live up to their potential. Disappointment.

Dear Kitchen,

I don't know what to make for dinner tonight, but please clean up after yourself. You're driving me crazy. I'm not your mother.




"Mrs. Houlin, I have wood chips in my pants"

Frustration! I had my whole post nearly complete and then something crazy happened with the mouse and the right click and poof. Gone. Lame. Anyway.

After recess I heard this, "Mrs. Houlin, I have wood chips in my pants. Can I go to the bathroom and get them out?" ...what? Um. Sure? Now this did happen after recess, and there are wood chips on the play ground, but, she was wearing jeans..so..where were the wood chips, and how did they get there? Yeah I don't think I want to dwell on that one for too long..ahem...anyway. It's statements like this that make my day. And the best part is, they're being completely honest and sincere. But most of the time, it's hilarious and I have to do everything I can to hold back a burst of laughter.

Today I wore my Pumas. Not just any Pumas. I have a tan and black pair that are sleek like, but these are my new favorite Pumas from Christmas . Pause. (sorry if you're one of those OCD people who like things nice, organized and sequential, you may want to skip the next paragraph if that label applies to you..). I need to rant a minute. I JUST FREAKING SPILLED RED JUICE ON THE CARPET FOR THE SECOND TIME SINCE I CLEANED MY CARPET!!!!! There aren't enough symbols to express my frustration (#)($#@)!@#!!!!). I hate carpet. Well, okay not hate, I just prefer area rugs. Now I have to re-clean the whole stinking thing this weekend. Well, at least this one spot. Laaaaammmmeeeee. Fortunately, I still have my sister-in-law's steam cleaner. That is one good investment. In a few years when my husband is a gagillionaire and I have my dream house (no hint of sarcasm), we will have hard wood and tile floors with area rugs. That's the way to go. Stupid red juice....

Back to my rock star Pumas. James got them for me for Christmas.They're white and they have a pink glittery swoosh like thing on the side. They make me happy. I love those. Love them. I don't wear them too often because they're white, and I HATE when white shoes get dirty, and I HATE cleaning them. Don't judge me.

So a lot of people my age don't like to cook. I love to cook! Mmmmm...well....I love to eat. Cooking is really a means to an end, but fortunately I find the means enjoyable. Last night I made whole wheat pasta with creamy roasted red pepper and feta sauce. DELISH! And healthy (an unintended added bonus). I just like trying new recipes and trying to combine things that I think might taste good together. Sometimes I'm right, other times I'm regrettably very wrong, but it's still fun. My favorite new thing to cook with is the Perfect Brownie pan. OMGOSH. Love this. Forget the plastic fork gig, these things are already cut! And they're not flat, or torn, they're amaza-zing. Go get one. (20 bucks at Wal-mart). James also got me what's called a flirty apron for Christmas, which I think makes me want to cook more, just so I can wear my super cute apron.

Well, fortunately this week is almost over. This weekend will be busy, two wedding receptions- one of the many cliche's of living in Utah- but next weekend will be spectacular. Four day weekend! I think we might buy a new couch. RC Willey has a pretty good deal going. And let me be honest, "we need a new couch" is somewhat of an understatement. I think buying a washer and dryer a month or so ago has gotten me on this furniture/appliance kick. That could be an expensive endeavor.

I need to go blow dry my hair. Ugh crap it's already that half dry wavy state. See all the problems that spill has caused? Stupid carpet...



My legs are way too white.

Is it February already? January went by fast. Thankfully. And it didn't snow too much (knock on wood), so if we can get through march with a snow storm every couple of weeks, we'll be okay. And by we I mean most definitely myself.

First thing on my mind. My husband has an obsession with Twizzlers. Complete obsession. He just recently found a store that sells different flavors (from root beer to pina colada). On the packs though, it reads, "As always, a low fat candy." ...does anyone else realize how deceptive that is? Yes I'm about to go on a health food rant, not that I'm really a health nut (I just finished a bowl of ice cream). Anyway, so many people are fooled to think that low fat means super healthy. However, READ THE LABELS people. Lots of low fat foods usually mean they make up for it in the amount of sugar that's in it. Low fat does not equal low in sugar, thus low in calorie. If more people knew that they might be a little bit happier with their diet attempts. That is all.

Second thing. For some inexplicable reason, the past few days have felt like summer. Not because it's super hot outside or the snow is melted or anything, but the allure of summer has definitely been in the air. Maybe because I spent most of Saturday inside and it was warm in my house, but super sunny outside, and I laid on the couch and watched Little Rascals and Sandlot back to back, yep that might have done it. Whatever the cause, I can't WAIT for summer. Looking down at my pasty legs though, I need to make a friend that has a pool. That's one thing I seriously miss about FL...I could lay out in my yard and no one would see me or care for that matter, but here, where the next house is about 12 feet away, I'd get more than one strange look. And city public pools are in no way appealing. All it makes me think of is how many filled floating diapers with splashing little babies are surrounding me. *shudders.

Thing number three. I'm FINALLY over my cold! Good thing...my nose was so dry from using so many tissues, the tip of it started peeling and it sort of looked like dried snot. Yeah I realize that's really gross, but that pretty much described everything about me last week. Gross. Anyway, 'tis better.You never realize how much you take breathing through your nose for granted until you can't do it anymore and you hate life for it.

Well, it's 9:18 and I will most definitely be in bed in the next half hour. :-) Love that.