Dear Dumb Diary

Dear Monday,

You know, I don't think this is working for me. I mean, you're here, then you go, and just when I'm running back into Friday's arms, you come back. I just don't think it's fair. So, go away. Far, far away.

Dear 4 day weekend,

Bring it on. Monday can even join us this time, it seriously owes me one from this week.

Dear Brownie Raspberry Trifle,

You were amazing. Stay all you want. But when you start metabolizing into little fat balls, please just avoid the waist, I've been working too hard.

Dear Pandora.com

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! What a fabulous idea. I'm not even missing my iTunes gift card, because you're just as good.

Dear little Hispanic lady at the Clinique counter,

I'm sorry! I know I haven't been moisturizing my face properly. Thanks for the free face wash and make up appointment this week. It's sure to brighten my week. Although, it doesn't help we live in a completely barren wasteland where the only thing that keeps my skin properly hydrated is baby lotion. True story. But I'll go back to the 3 step cleaning kit, I promise. Oh and next time, next time being this Friday when I come for my makeover you promised, please tell your "associate" not to stare me down with those smokey, judging eyes. Kthanx.

Dear Colts,

Judging from the looks of it, I don't think you're the hot snot everyone says you're supposed to be. Peyton Manning seems on top of it, so someone should probably apologize to the rest of his team for falling apart. While we're on the subject, all of the commercials totally did not live up to their potential. Disappointment.

Dear Kitchen,

I don't know what to make for dinner tonight, but please clean up after yourself. You're driving me crazy. I'm not your mother.



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