The ONLY 3 things you should say to a pregnant lady

Two blog posts in one day? I know. I'm out of control. But one, I have nothing to do during the day. I'm sitting around waiting to go into labor, which is an awful lot like watching grass grow. And two, as soon as d-day does go down, I'll probably have a lot less time (from what I hear) to do things like complain about my current state via text online. So, two blog posts in one day today.

I just found something hilarious. It's from this blog.
And I completely relate.

"Every time I stand up I swear bad swears in my head. “Great Cesar’s Ghost!” I say, only not that. I do not know who is sneaking into my house and beating my lower back with a 4” pipe, and why on earth I am not noticing during the commission, but it needs to stop. Walking is the worst joke. So is sitting. My own body is violating the Geneva Convention.

If you’ve had a baby you know the last couple weeks are physical torture. I don’t know why it’s such a surprise. You know that your insides will be squashed and pummeled. You know that your bladder will experience sudden, crushing pain. You know that staying in one position for more than 15 minutes will cause brutal debilitation and shocking torment. Yet, we still have babies, plural.

People ask how you are and you’ll smile and say, “Tired,” when the truth is that you’re in physical agony. Mostly you want people to stop asking how you are, or if you are excited about the baby, or what the baby’s name is.
How about we go with Emmie’s advice and say one of only three things:
1. You look fantastic.
2. Would you like to sit down?
3. Have a cookie.

Not on the list:
“You must be so done!”
“Hurts just looking at you!”
“Have you had that baby yet?”
“No, you cannot have Thai food.”

(Yes, I can, and it had better have at least 3 stars or you’re all fired.)"

And I'd like to add something to the "not on the list" list: "She'll come when she's ready!" Obviously. But that doesn't make me feel ANY better.
Now where's that cookie?

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