Heavy stuff.

Ever see someone else's situation and think to yourself, "Wow..I'm glad that's not me."

My mom often says the following: "I think before this life we all knew what our trials would be. We looked in our little "bag" and thought, "Oh..that's going to be hard.." But then we looked in someone else's bag and saw their trials and immediately wanted our own back."

That's definitely true. As I think back on all of Jillian's reflux issues and how hard that was for us to get get figured out (I was an emotional wreck- I thought my baby was broken), I look at what some other people have to experience with their children and think that exact thing...I'll keep my own little bag of trials.

I don't get all gushy/emotional about motherhood much. I'm too tired. But one thing I've never experienced before, and I don't think you are capable until you are a parent, is that I would do anything, absolutely anything, to ensure Jillian's health, happiness, and safety. That's a weird thing- to be so incredibly in love and involved with someone so little and so new that you can say that with such surety. I suppose that feeling only intensifies as they grow up and you realize your power over their well-being gets less and less, and their own independence gets to be more and more.

I've been reading two other blogs recently that have really made me think about this lately. 

Tripp is a little boy who has EB. A skin disease that causes him to blister with the slightest amount of friction to his skin.

Nella is a little girl who was born with down syndrome to parents who were unaware of her circumstances until her birth. 

The whole process of a child is fascinating to me. Creating something out of nothing, feeling it grow inside of you, and then watch it develop into this little being with a personality, thoughts, feelings. It's a miracle. Having any child is a miracle. Having a perfectly healthy child? I feel like that's one above miracle. I take that for granted far, far too often.

Even though having a baby is hard. Waking up anywhere from 1-5 times a night is hard. Putting someone else's needs above your own is hard. I'll take it. Because those two women have one above hard, and they do it with such grace and gratitude. 

I don't believe people who say they're "grateful for their trials." I think what they mean to say is they're grateful they only have to endure their own. I'll take my own little bag of trials, and maybe after peeking into someone else's, I'll be a little more grateful for the ones I have to get through.

1 comment:

  1. Whitney, I like being able to peek into peoples lives and insights, especially the one above. You seem like an amazing Mom, and such a down to earth person. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and making other new moms feel normal for having the same thoughts. Two thumbs up!


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