Survival of the fittest.

My goal is to be in bed at 9:30. So I'm starting a blog at 9:22. I have good ideas. The past two days have been nuts. I'm not even sure it's been TWO days...I think it's really still Tuesday. Just an extension of it, anyway. And tomorrow will be Tuesday evening. The next day will be Tuesday night.

That makes sense. I'm good at making sense these days. Good thing I'm not responsible for molding and shaping 25 young minds...WHEW.

Babying is hard. Babying (v). 1. The act of having and caring for a baby. Fortunately Baby J is sleeping better at night. She usually will go to sleep around 6-7p and be out until 12-1a. Then she'll wake up around 5-6a to eat and start her day. Does that mean I'm sleeping more? Not really. I'm excited with all my new found evening time to myself so I can do completely useful and productive things, like peruse pinterest for hours. Last night James and I almost didn't know what to do with ourselves. So what did we do? We both laid on the floor and measured each other's arm spans vs. height using the length of our feet. Like I said, I have good ideas. In case you're wondering, our arm spans were shorter by about half a foot length (and this is foot as in FOOT and not foot..got it?).

School is going well though, all things considered. I forget how much they DON'T know at the beginning of the year. I feel like I'm trying to house break a bunch of puppies in some ways. Not that they pee everywhere... The past two days I've had meetings, so I haven't been getting home until about 5:30. Remember how I said baby J goes to bed between 6 and 7? Yeah. I see her for about an hour before she's out for the night. This is sad. Tonight I got home in time to feed her- she at a whole 4 ounces. I bathed her (by myself for the first time) and she didn't scream at all...not even when I put lotion on afterwards (she usually hates that). Then I dressed her in her little sleeper and bundled her in her swaddle blanket, and we rocked in the glider. I sang her some primary songs and started crying a little bit. For a few different reasons.

(While singing:)
Heavenly Father, are you really there?
And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?
Some say that heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray.

First I started crying because she was already falling asleep. I finally get to see her awake for the day and now she's already sleeping. I squeaked a half smile out of her earlier... I guess that will have to suffice until tomorrow. But also because of the song I'm singing/sniffling. For several days I was feeling a little abandoned- spiritually that is. Feeling like all of my earnest prayers for baby J and all of her woes would be lessened, and that in turn would let me well, sleep. But holding her little body and looking into her half-closed eyes, I thought, how can I even think that? For months and months SHE is what I prayed for. Her PERIOD. Just her existence! So maybe my prayers and wishes for MY sleep aren't quite happening yet, but SHE is sleeping. Which is really a fantastic new development.
My prayers have been answered. I'm holding the answer to my prayer. And she's asleep. Dead asleep. Until the hour or two she'll be awake when I get home tomorrow to rock her back to sleep.

Oh Saturday. Hurry up already.

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