everything is half-done.

Here's what I've learned so far about having two kids:
everything is half-done all the time.

I open instagram to find a picture I never finished posting.
I go to bed and remember that the clothes never got put into the dryer. 
I see a news article show up again that I've been meaning to read for days.
It takes me multiple days/sittings to watch a one-hour TV show. 
It takes me even longer to finish a blog post...

The other day I found myself wondering what the HECK I did with all of my time when I was married without kids, got done teaching school at 4pm and James didn't get home until 6:00...
How did I even have that many hobbies to fill all of that free time?!

Now my days consist of 3 things: making sure we're all fed, rested, and have clean bums (meaning Olivia's diaper, Jillian actually making it to the bathroom when the urge hits, and me taking a shower every day). We're barely through one cycle of that before it's lunch time and we start all over again. Hence why everything else is half-done until I remember/have time to finish it.
My mental to-do list is constantly getting erased when my thoughts are derailed by the never ending neediness of these two little people I live with...that I made...on purpose! 
(What every morning looks like- the 3 of us all piled up on my bed while Olivia and I try to catch a few extra zzz's before Jillian gets too impatient and wants us all to go downstairs).

My youngest brother moved out of the house this week, leaving my parents as empty nesters. My mom said she's going through a bit of an identity crisis- for the last 30 years that is what she did, and she did a heck of a job- making sure we were all fed, well rested, and had clean bums (you'd think the last one would improve with time...but seriously have you ever smelled a teenage boy?). 
And she already misses it. 

So since this will be my life for the foreseeable future (30 years?), I'm going to *try* to find a little more joy in the day-to-day grind. I'll try to laugh before I get mad when Jillian makes a HUGE mess but had a blast in doing so, I'll try to forget how much money diapers cost when Olivia goes through 5 in 10 minutes, I'll enjoy snuggles from both of them when they just want to be snuggled- even if it means dinner will be late getting done or not at all. 
Because this is the stuff that one day I'll miss doing- presumably. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Ahh I can't wait until my kids are in school!" or "It will be so nice when they're older and we can ____." I gotta stop wishing the time away and live in the here and now. Not just live in it- but enjoy it. 
(I'm also typing this as both kids are asleep in the middle of the day and I'm sitting on the couch in yoga pants eating a big ole' piece of chocolate cake, so I'm feelin' especially good about the here and now). :-p 

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